farters have to be the big spoon...
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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