god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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