I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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