i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
it's like heaven, but drunker
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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