I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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