Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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