Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
