Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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