I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
