normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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