It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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