i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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