I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
