it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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