I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
