sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
i black out too much to be "responsible"
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
