idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
