Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
