Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
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