she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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