My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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