you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
