my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
