you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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