Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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