I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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