I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize
