Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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