her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
