Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
