i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
