planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
