You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
