when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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