You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
His hands were made for my vagina.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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