Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
only if we run a train.
done.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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