If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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