I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
