Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
