Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
