I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
