Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I think I died a long time ago.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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