Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
