i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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