Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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