no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
