so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
