Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
