how can u be prego again
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
