so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
they're like a gay fantastic four
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
