Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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