lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
