He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
